Call me Zoe. Nobody really does, but they could, so why shouldn't you? Even if my name was Zoe, I'm not sure that they'd call me that, I'm just Ginger. I didn't have very many friends when I was young. I was an only chid, so my people skills weren't so great, and most of my time was spent coloring or playing with Barbies, not real girls. Other kids always assumed I was really outgoing because of my crazy orange curls, but I always preferred sitting in the sand box, building castles for the ants I was narrating the lives of.
I started kindergarten shy and awkward when it came to relations with other kids. One boy, Andy, became obsessed with my hair because he liked watching the ringlets bouncing back to form after he pulled on them. I didn't understand his fascination until I went to his house a few weeks later. His sister, Kate, was similarly bizarre: a girl much older than us who viewed redheads as a curiosity and as precious because of their rarity. As soon as she saw me, she screamed "GINGER!" and hugged Andy for bringing home this lovely surprise for her. Kate always referred to me as Ginger, and since I spent so much time with their family, I didn't really notice when it rubbed off on Andy and then all my other friends. I never really asked them to, but everyone around me slowly picked up the habit, assuming that's what I wanted to be called since everyone else did. But I'm not that confused little girl anymore, so I'm not going to let that happen anymore. It's a time for new beginnings. Starting with renaming myself, or at least letting my parents do the job like they tried to do before. So scratch all that. Call me Victoria.
I love how you gave the reader a brief, yet thorough description of the character. You developed the narrator's personality, while giving it a Vonnegut-like style, especially when you say, "So scratch all that. Call me Victoria." Also, you give the narrator's background in a very Vonnegut-like way as well.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you jumped around a little bit, sort of emulating Vonnegut's randomness. The beginning sounded a little strange to me but otherwise great job
ReplyDeleteI really really love this! The whole new beginnings idea mixed with the random points within the post totally emulate Vonnegut. You make the girl sound a little strange in the beginning but then are able to show her power...maybe leave the reader wanting more at the end also?
ReplyDeleteI like how you can really imagine the type of girl that Victoria is. She was shy, but now she is coming out of her shell and to become the whole new person of Victoria. Some of the sentences were a little awkward, such as the last sentence of the first paragraph. Overall though it is very good and I can't wait to hear more.
ReplyDeleteI really like the change in names throughout the whole story. It makes the reader have to pay attention to each sentence or else they will get lost. It wasn't confusing or anything and maybe end the story with another hook-like sentence that makes the reader wish there was more.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very cool way of naming yourself. I like how you completely changed it at the end. Really made the reader go like "Whoa." But yeah good job on your chapter. Would love to hear more!
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